Sunday, May 23, 2010


Mom. Can you please just give me some freedom? Like just a little? I really can't stand this anymore. Seeing all my friends going out everyday, having fun, and i, staying at home facing the laptop everyday. I seriously can't stop myself from crying. Just let me go out once a week, i also do'nt mind. But this is not. Im staying home everyday. After school everyday you come fetch me home, every morning send me to school. This is similiar to being jailed. I want my freedom back like last time. Now, you don't even let me have a part time job just for the holidays. I don't care what the f*cking school say about not letting me work, its my own choice, not the school's choice. Anyway i just request for a part time job for JUNE holidays, not for the rest of the year. I don't want to stay home everyday, doing nothing, or facing the laptop until i get migraine. Apparently, i'm having migraine now. I went to the kitchen just now, trying to talk to you about this, but in the end i just walked off. I can't get my own damn mouth to open. After school, you wouldn't even let me have lunch at tamp mart. Can you be more considerate like dad? At least before he comes to fetch me, he asks me to go have lunch with my friends, i never even ask him anything. I feel like going cycling and cycle or my stressed out. Even Yvonne gets to go out now when last time she couldn't, I want to go hoaly's party, CANNOT, i want to go redrain @ paya lebar, CANNOT, i want to go east coast park, CANNOT, i want to go out with seika, CANNOT, i want to go church, CANNOT. Everything also cannot, you want me become nerd everyday use laptop use laptop use laptop use laptop. I'm feeling alot of f*cking stress!!!!!!!!!!
I really tried my best to study for my mye, after so many awful things happen in school. You think i'm happy to get this results? I'm not. I spent almost the whole day studying and i get this kind of result i also not happy. Can you try understanding how i feel now? I love him but we have to be separated. I tried to study and i get not good result. I want to go out to relax myself but you don't allow. I. CAN'T. TAKE. THIS. ANYMORE. I really have nobody to talk to. I know you love me, even that time you found out i lied to you, you also forget about it. But i just request, for just once a week go out. ONCE*. Its very little for me. How you expect me to adapt staying home? Last time i everyday after school have lunch/study then go home, or cca. Then sats i would work, and sometimes* only, sunday i would go out. Now i everyday stay home. Its super boring. I either, sleep, eat, watch tv, study, use laptop. Nothing else.

I'm going to fall apart. Soon

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